Report: Americans Already Tired of this Fucking Olympics Bullshit

Washington, D.C. — A survey conducted by Gallup after the Opening Ceremony of the 2016 Rio games came to a predictable conclusion:  Americans are already tired of this fucking bullshit.

“It was pretty much what we expected,” commented lead Gallup pollster Stewart Appleton.  “Across all demographics and ages, Americans are tired of this avalanche of Olympic related news, and we are just one day in.  They don’t want to know about the fucking 22 medals Michael Phelps has won, they don’t give a shit about the dangerous conditions in olympicringsand around Rio de Janeiro, and they sure as shit don’t want to know anything else about the Zika virus.”

When polled about what sports they would be watching, the majority of Americans struggled to name a second sport beyond Track and Field.

“Track, I might watch that.  I know basketball is one of the sports,” said Mark Kondracki, one of the 837 Americans polled by Gallup.  “But at this point in time its critical I focus on football.  The Packers and Colts match up in the Hall of Fame game tonight, and more importantly the fantasy draft is in 24 days.  Diving, archery and sailing. I don’t have time for that.”

Kondracki’s comments were similar the others polled.  Especially in the 18 to 49 male demographic most were simply hoping to make it past through the next few weeks so they could get to some fucking NFL action.

 

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