Jerry Jones Orders Opening of “Purple Drank” Stand at AT&T Stadium

Dallas, TX — Fresh off news that one of his star players enjoys ‘Purple Drank’ – Jerry Jones ordered the opening of a jerry_jonesnew concession stand at  today’s Cowboys business meeting.

“Guys, I’m not real sure what I’m paying you for,” stated a frustrated Jones as he stared at his inner circle in the Cowboys boardroom.

“We are sitting on a gold mine here.  This stuff is not sold in AT&T Stadium.  Hell I checked and nobody is selling this in any NFL stadium, this…this Purple Drank stuff that Rolando loves.  We are missing out on a revenue opportunity.”

Jones was referring to suspended linebacker Rolando McClain, who reportedly gained 40 pounds over the summer enjoying the delicious concoction of Sprite and codeine cough syrup, known as ‘Purple Drank’.

“Now Stephen, I’m putting you in charge of securing the Sprite, I’m figuring we’ll need at least 20 cases” nodding at Cowboys Executive VP Stephen Jones.

“And I’ll take care of the codeine,” stated Jones as he concluded the meeting.  “I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow anyway.  I’ll have him load up the trunk with as much as I can haul back to the stadium.”

 

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