Bourbonnais, IL — After months of off season preparation, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler happily announced that he has perfected a new scowl for the upcoming 2016 season.
“Yep, its ready,” a giggling Cutler said after the Bears third training camp practice Tuesday. “It really encapsulates what I’m all about. I’m overpaid, I’m sullen, and I never make a mistake on the field. I mean, c’mon there are 10 other guys out there with me at all times, and I’m obviously the best player on our side of the ball, how in the world could any of the bad things that happen out there be on me?”
Cutler revealed the new scowl has actually been in the works since the end of the 2014 season, but the arrival of John Fox delayed his work on the new grimace.
“Foxy…you know, he’s just such a positive guy. A lot of that rubbed off on me during the 2015 season. But I think its time I get back to projecting the negativity that is JC”
Cutler also revealed that he hired outside help in the off season to perfect his new look, hiring Chicago area acting coach Janet Milstein to take his work to the next level.
“Lets be clear, Jay is ultra talented to begin with,” said Milstein. “From his sullen body language to those ‘What the fuck are you doing‘ facial expressions he projects to both teammates and coaches when they’re wrong. But when Jay came to me and said he wanted to take it to the next level, I was just honored to take him on as a client.”
Cutler was coy on when asked about when he would debut his work, but alluded to bringing the new scowl public during the fourth quarter of the Bears week 1 match-up against the Houston Texans.